When I came back the first time last year, I was amazed at how bizarre it felt. In the month and a half that I had been away from home, I had changed and grown in a lot of different ways, yet I had barely noticed at all. I assumed that my home must somehow be ‘different’, that surely it and the people who live there must have changed too.

But nothing changed — there weren’t any major changes to the town, my bedroom still looked the exact same, and I still had to fight with my neighbor for my parking spot. Because I had been gone for so long, things felt unfamiliar, yet I knew this is how things had been. The weirdness, I think, came from being placed back into the exact same routine and role that I had been in for most of my life, yet having it feel weird and abnormal because I had adjusted to my college life.

A lot of different things felt ‘weird’ — walking into my house’s bathroom, walking into my old bedroom, seeing my friends for the first time in months, and driving past the gym I used to work at. But I think the weirdest thing was driving. Somehow, it felt so strange to me that I lost (part) of my ability to drive. I had to actually pull over and shake myself out of it!

Has anyone else had similar experiences when coming back home after a long period of time?

If you live near your school and go back and forth every week or two, you probably won’t notice it as much, but if you’ve been away a couple of months before coming back, it’s definitely going to feel strange.

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Luckily, this year Halloween falls on a Saturday. Not only do you get the whole day off to do whatever you want, you can also sleep in the next day! If you’re in college now, this is as good as it gets, and it will only happen this year. So you can do a bunch of different thing all in the same day. Here are a few suggestions (some of which may be more fun when safely combined with alcohol):

1. Party. College parties + Halloween = tons of fun, usually. Be warned, though — cops are expecting parties in college towns on Halloween, so be careful not to draw too much attention to yourselves.
2. Scary movies. Meet up with some friends and watch some of your favorite horror movies.
3. Pumpkin carving contest. Buy some pumpkins and see who can carve the coolest design.
4. Dress up. Come up with a cool costume idea and try your best to make it a reality. Bonus points if you can get your friends involved too!
5. Set up a haunted house. You can buy cardboard boxes from a local shipping store and make an awesome haunted house — assuming you have the space, of course.
6. Trick-or-Treating: Maybe you’re too old to trick or treat, and then, maybe you aren’t. Just don’t be surprised if you get some really weird looks and comments from adults!

No matter what you decide to do, be safe and have fun! How are you celebrating Halloween this year?

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1. Jealousy

The biggest one. If you’re jealous of every girl that your boyfriend talks to (or vice versa), then there will always be a lot of background tension in the relationship. In college, you meet a lot of new people of both genders. If you expect your partner to completely shut out the opposite sex, that’s ridiculous and you’ll greatly hinder his or her social life. Being jealous puts you in a bad mood and definitely pushes your partner away.

However, there are definitely times when you need to worry. When you hear about the same person a little too often or you feel like your partner is crossing some line, you should definitely bring it up. Don’t be hostile — be mature and calm, otherwise you may make a bad situation even worse.

2. Too little communication

To keep a relationship alive, you need to remain in touch with each other. Otherwise, you begin to lose that attachment that all relationships need. Try to set aside some time each day (or every other day, whatever works best) to talk to each other and catch up. Talk about your day, talk about your lives, and try to be a couple as much as you can.

3. Too much communication

On the other side of the coin, if you two are talking way too much, you’ll start to get bored with each other and long for some space. Talking often is good, but try to avoid overkill. If the conversation isn’t flowing on its own, don’t be afraid to end it. Too much communication also interferes with your day-to-day life because you end up having to choose between talking to your partner and whatever else you want to do.

I like text messaging a lot — you can reply when it’s convenient, but chances are you won’t text enough that you run out of topics.

4. Cheating

Always a relationship-destroyer, cheating is more common in long distance relationships. It’s easy to become lonely and long for some companionship, and in a moment of weakness have a break down.

Cheating really does come down to a strength of will power, but it can be aggravated by other flaws in the relationship. To avoid losing a relationship to cheating, make sure there aren’t other holes in the relationship.

5. Parting ways in life

At one time, your lives may have been on the same path, but as time and distance work away at you, you will soon find that you now have different goals, interests, and hobbies than you once did. This can hit rather suddenly — one day you’ll realize that you two aren’t who you used to be.

The easiest way to avoid having trouble here is to communicate and to meet up as frequently as possible.

Are long distance relationships possible?

Long distance relationships are hard as hell, but if you’re involved with somebody you care about greatly, it’s worth it if you can hang in there. The odds are stacked against you, but by working as a couple — NOT as an individual — it’s definitely possible to stay strong together.

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Last year I learned how important it was for me to keep an active calendar going, one where I could plot out events that I could otherwise forget.

Before I started keeping a calendar, I would occasionally forget that my homework was due the next day or that it was a friend’s birthday.

I found that my best bet to keep track of everything was a calendar. Since I personally spend a ton of time on the computer, I wanted one that would integrate nicely with my computer and that I’d see often. I discovered that there was a program that did this well — Rainlendar. Rainlendar allows me to easily enter dates, events, and other items and keep track of them. It’s easy to add recurring events, and it looks downright sexy.

This isn’t meant to be a Rainlendar advertisement, though, but rather to encourage you to keep a calendar. If using your computer works best, use that. If you need a paper calendar, use that. If you like a small planner, use that. As long as you’re active in writing down the dates you need to remember and as long as you check the calendar frequently, you’ll be okay.

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Depending on how many roommates you have and how they act, this can be easy or it can be tough. Some roommates can live together, each doing their own thing, and be perfectly happy. Others feel a constant need to interact with each other or with other people, keeping you from the down time that you need.

The best place to go when you really need some time is the library.

Even though the library will still have plenty of people in it, everyone there is doing their own thing. You can easily curl up in a corner with a nice book or your laptop and just relax. You don’t need to tell anyone you’re going to be there — just go there after class or after dinner or something and relax as long as you need to.

Alternatively, you can also go for a walk, go into town, and so forth. You don’t always have to have somebody with you. When your roommate is in class, that’s also a great time to have the room to yourself.

A little bit of solitude here and there is nice and all, but be careful about how much you isolate yourself — even if you’re introverted, a little bit of socializing never hurts and will actually help you feel better about yourself in general.

Where do you go to get away?

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Being a new student anywhere is tough, and college is no exception. College is a great place to meet people and find friends, and you’ll find that you enjoy college a lot more if you have some solid friends right there by your side. Making those friends, though, can be the tough part. Some people are lucky and able to make friends easily, yet for others it takes a bit of work.

Although you can make friends any time, it’s easiest in the first couple weeks of school, before many groups of friends become solid.

The key to making friends is to open up. College students are generally a lot more open to making new friends than high school students, and there’s no need to be afraid of everybody. All you need to do is put yourself out there. Here are a few ways to do just that:

Come across as ‘social’.

If you power walk across campus listening to music the whole time and you lock yourself in your dorm the second you get back, you’ll never make any friends.

You need to make yourself seem available and friendly. Make eye contact, smile. Try to relax your body and act casual. If you’re incredibly tense and huddled up, people will assume you want to be left alone. Just relax.

A surprisingly effective way to meet people on your floor is to leave your dorm room door open when you’re there. You can say hello to people who pass by, and some will inevitably stop to chat for a bit.

Also, unplug your MP3 player when you’re walking around. No one is going to talk to you if you’re already occupied.

Talk to people.

If you sit next to somebody in class that you don’t know, say something. If you’re next to somebody in the line for the dining hall, make casual conversation.

Coming up with topics is tough, but if you think you can find something. Talk about your professor, or your dorm, where you’re from, what the other person is doing at the time, and so forth. You don’t have to impress anybody, just find anything to comment on to break the ice.

Approaching people can make you pretty nervous, especially if you’re shy to begin with. Tell yourself that you’ll speak to five different random people each day and try to carry on a conversation with them. This will introduce you to a  bunch of new people every week, each of which has the potential to become a good friend.

Take a little bit of initiative.

Don’t expect the other person to take the lead on everything — you need to carry your weight as well. If you’re talking to somebody that seems interesting, ask if he or she wants to hang out or something. Don’t be too forward or anything, but find a comfortable balance between being completely passive and being assertive. If you and the people you’re talking to have a strong rapport going on, try to keep it going.

Get involved.

Joining clubs for your hobbies and playing for intramural sports teams are great ways to meet people with similar interests. If your dorm puts on regular events, go to a few. Sure, they’re usually kind of lame, but that’s what they’re there for: to help you meet people. Especially in the beginning of the year, where most people have nothing better to do.

Don’t get discouraged.

Some people find their college friends right away, others take a little while to settle into a comfortable group. If the people you’re meeting don’t quite mesh with you, that’s okay. You’ll find ones that do if you keep at it or get to know others better. It took me about three months to find people I clicked well with, and it took others the whole year.

Don’t give up, and you’ll eventually have a solid group of college friends!

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Going to any interview can be downright intimidating, and going to your first job interview is no exception. Without any prior work experience to point to, you have to somehow try to convince the employer that you’re a good choice.

Luckily, most interviews for jobs in high school and early college jobs aren’t too grueling. Most employers will ask some simple questions to get to know you and then make a decision. The way you present yourself in an interview will usually make more of an impact than whatever you have on your short resume.

Employers want workers who see the job as more than just a paycheck — they want workers who actually care about what they do. If you can give the impression in your job interview that you do care, then you’ll have a much better shot at getting hired. Here are four ways I’ve found pretty helpful:

Come to the interview well-dressed and well-groomed.

You don’t need to rent a tuxedo or anything, but wearing moderately-formal clothes will reflect on you much better than a teenager who comes in wearing typical casual clothes. Remember, dress professional, not formal. Wear something you would expect higher-ups in the company to wear.

Make sure you’re clean and your appearance is kept up. Brush your teeth, make sure you smell decent, and comb your hair. If you’re a guy and don’t have well-styled facial hair, then you need to shave. If you’re really serious about the job, you might even consider getting your haircut a few days before the interview.

Be enthusiastic and have a positive attitude.

You need to convince employers that you want to work there. Talk as if this is the only job in the world you could possibly want, not as if you’re just looking for some extra money. Mention how much you like the place as a customer, how you like what they do, etc. If you seem enthusiastic about working there, this reflects very well on you.

Come in with a smile, and be very friendly and polite to everybody, including other employees and customers, and not just to the person conducting the interview.

Answer questions clearly.

There are a lot of standard interview questions, such as “what are your strengths and weaknesses?” and the extremely blunt, “why should I hire you?” Many employers for low-end jobs will ask a lot of simple questions about you — your school life, any past work experience, any special skills you have.

If you can give well-worded answers to most of these questions, this helps you a lot. Instead of saying, “I do well in school”, say “I do pretty well in school — I take some honors classes and get mostly A’s and B’s”. Point out things that will reflect well on you as a worker, whether it’s your schoolwork or other work experience you have.

Ask questions back!

If you have any questions at all about the job, ask! Not only will this get you answers, it will also show that you’re taking an active interest in the job.

Getting a job as a teenager always involves at least some luck. Not every interview will go well, nor will every employer call you back. But if you can make a solid impression through a solid job interview, your chances will be much better.

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As I go through my day, a million things occur to me to do later on — maybe I want to remember to watch a certain TV show, maybe I need to get some schoolwork done, or maybe I have an appointment I need to remember. The biggest problem is that I always forget what I was going to do.

Most of the time, these reminders aren’t that important, but it does really suck when it’s something significant.

Finally, I realized the best way for me to get my life together: sending text messages to myself. I’m on the computer often, and because I check my e-mail often, my reminders don’t go forgotten. When something occurs to me to remind myself of, I quickly open my phone and send a text message of the reminder, such as, “test on Friday”. Then, when I’m home and at the computer, it pops up as an unread e-mail.

In college, this has been incredibly useful for me, since things can pile up quickly that I forget about, but through my cell phone, they can accumulate in neatly-displayed lists in my e-mail inbox.

How feasible this is will depend on your wireless provider — not all providers support sending texts to e-mail addresses. I have Verizon and it works fine.

Here’s how to do it:

1. Add your e-mail address to your cell phone. Go into your Contacts and add a new contact. Don’t bother specifying a mobile/home/work number — just go straight to the e-mail address. Use the text input to type out your e-mail address. If you don’t have an e-mail address option, try entering it into any of the other areas. Don’t bother putting in any other numbers.
2. Send a text message. Send a text message to yourself like you would to anybody else. I put my e-mail on speed dial because I use it so frequently, but you should be able to directly through the contacts.
3. Check your e-mail. After the message has sent, log into your e-mail account and see if the message is there. The “From” might be your phone number or your provider, it shouldn’t matter too much. If your text message is there, congrats! You’ve got this all set up!

I took it a step further and set up a nice little filter for messages from me, giving them a bright red label in GMail. I also usually leave the messages unread until I’m up for taking the time to handle the reminder.

You can also use this message to send pictures/videos from your phone to yourself. Remember how I said to keep a list of dorm items as they occur to you? This is a great way to do it!

Technorati Tags: phones, technology, internet

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If you’re going to college away from your hometown, managing your money becomes an important factor to deal with.

Storing a large wad of cash in your dorm room is a terrible idea, you’re just asking for someone to steal your money from your dorm. Cash is also rather inconvenient, since you might find yourself needing money when you least expect it.

So what do you do, if you’re going to avoid bringing mass amounts of cash?

Start a bank account.

If you don’t already have one, you should start up a bank account. Give your parents access to the account so that they can deposit money as needed.

Make sure the bank has a local branch or that your campus has an ATM. Most campuses will have an ATM, but you need a quick way to pull out cash when necessary. Having a bank account won’t do you any good if you can’t access your money. If the bank has a local branch, that’s a plus, but bear in mind it might not be near campus.

Plastic is your friend: Consider a debit/credit card.

Using a debit or credit card saves you the inconvenience of cash by being a small addition to your wallet that’s usable in (most) places.

If you’re able to manage your money well enough, I definitely recommend using a credit card instead of a debit card. Using a credit card will also help you build your credit score. However, if you’re too easily tempted to spend money, a debit card will help limit you better.

How to manage your money

If your bank provides it, online banking is dead useful. You can pay off credit card bills online, you can quickly check up on your accounts to see how much money you have left, and you can quickly transfer funds between savings/checking accounts as needed.

I also strongly recommend Mint.com. Mint is an online service which aggregates information from your bank accounts and can be used to create budgets, see what you’re spending the most on, and so forth. It’s been incredibly handy.

Keep some cash on hand.

Once I got in the habit of using my credit card, I rarely ever had cash anymore. While credit cards are useful, there are times you will need cash. Always keep some extra money on hand, just in case. Go to the ATM machine if you need to.

What about checks?

I definitely don’t recommend using checks in college. Checks are a little bit harder to keep track of and you will have to work harder to manage your money. Using a credit or debit card is a lot easier, and you’ll rarely run into trouble with plastic.

How do (or did) you manage your money in college?

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When it comes time to take out a loan for a house or a car in the future, a huge indicator to lenders is your credit score, which reflects on how you repay purchases that are bought on credit — money that you “borrow”. If you pay everything back in full and on-time, your credit score will be higher and will reflect on you better than if you make late payments or small payments.

Building a solid credit score is essential to your financial well being after you graduate from college, so it’s in your best interest to start building your credit score now. The easiest way to do so is with a credit card.

A credit card? In college?!

Oh yes. If you frequently use your credit card, you’ll have an easy way to begin improving your credit score.

There are many different types of credit cards out there, you’ll need to look into different offers. Some offer better rewards, others offer lower interest rates. Find what works for you.

How to start building your credit score

• Use your credit card. Use your card to make most purchases, such as food, textbooks, gasoline, etc. Using cash now and then is fine, but using your card is a bit more useful. You can’t build credit if you’ve never used it.
• Only spend what you can otherwise afford. Using your credit card makes it tempting to spend more than you should because you don’t have to pay until later. But you should imagine that your card is cash so that you’re not spending more than you can afford to.
• Pay your bill on time. Pay your credit card bill on time, every time. Late fees will add up and will definitely hurt your credit score. Nowadays, most credit card bills can be quickly paid online, so there’s no excuse.
• Pay back the entire balance. Although it’s tempting to only pay the minimum monthly payment, your credit score will improve much more if you pay back the entire balance.

Essentially, your credit card becomes cash that you pay back each month entirely. There are no harmful effects to using your credit card, provided you spend within your means and pay back the entire balance on-time each month.

What about a debit card?

Debit cards offer all of the conveniences of credit cards, like connecting you easily to your bank account, ease of online shopping, and so forth, but you won’t build credit with a debit card. As long as you’re not tempted to overspend and you can handle paying your bill once a month, there is no reason to choose a debit card over a credit card. In fact, credit cards offer all of the benefits of a debit card with the addition of building your credit score.

Technorati Tags: money, education, college

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